


Tale as Old as Wasted Time

by The_Winter_Straw



Series: Straw's Super-Amazing Fantastic Quarantine Request Booklet Extravaganza [8]
Category: One Piece
Genre: F/M, Fluff, POV Second Person, Pre-Time Skip, Reader is a Straw Hat, Reader-Insert, Sakura (Cherry Blossoms)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-01
Updated: 2020-07-01
Packaged: 2021-03-05 02:01:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,272
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25016665
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Winter_Straw/pseuds/The_Winter_Straw
Summary: It's a little like Beauty and the Beast...if Beauty had no grace and the Beast had no sense of direction.
Relationships: Roronoa Zoro/Reader
Series: Straw's Super-Amazing Fantastic Quarantine Request Booklet Extravaganza [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1748251
Comments: 1
Kudos: 69





	Tale as Old as Wasted Time

**Author's Note:**

> Another e-mail request from bleuwales via e-mail. Well, she asked for any Straw Hat crew member, so I picked Zoro because he seemed the most appropriate given the prompt.
> 
> I haven't read or watched _One Piece_ since 2012, so I hope this is still acceptable. It's absolutely set before the timeskip, if I don't make that apparent enough in the text. ~~Do they have makeup in canon? They have makeup now because I say so.~~
> 
>  **Prompt:** Cherry blossoms

Sea legs never did come naturally to you. Before being invited to join the Straw Hat pirates on their various quests for personal fulfillment, you'd hardly ever been onboard a boat at all. The crew assured you that your balance and coordination would return with time, but that time had yet to come. Needless to say, you found this very frustrating. None of _them_ seemed to have any problems! Incredible tasks like taking on Sea Kings barehanded or outmaneuvering a man made of rubber determined to get the last bit of meat occurred on a regular basis. You, on the other hand...well basic tasks like applying makeup without putting an eye out (yours or any of your friends’) became daunting asks of you. 

_Bang! Bang! Bang!_

Someone pounded on the door behind you. Their beat was steady and their force great. Already focused on trying not to let the rolling floor upset your aim, you jumped at the noise, fumbled the mascara wand in your hand, and dropped it right next to your feet. 

"Oh, come on!" you moaned, bending to scoop the item up. 

No close look was necessary to tell you that the wand was too filthy to use anymore. You didn't know _what_ caused such a great quantity of hair to come off Usopp whenever he used the _Going Merry's_ only bathroom, but clearly you should have tried to sweep up after him before attempting to beautify yourself. Just great. All that time you'd spent waiting for Robin and Nami to finish _their_ routines so they couldn't watch yours wasted. What was worse was that the mascara belonged to the latter. Just because she'd agreed to let you borrow it didn't mean Nami wouldn't charge you out the nose once she found out you ruined one of her belongings. 

_Bang! Bang! Bang!_

"Hurry up in there, would you?" shouted a male voice, only slighted muffled by the door between the two of you. 

You knew that voice. You also knew there was no use arguing with its owner. _He_ wouldn't care that you only had mascara on one eye, no lipstick, and still hadn't figure out what to do with your hair. When Zoro wanted his fellow crew members to hurry, the majority of them hurried. Well, you did, at least. Doing what he wanted was always so much easier than trying to explain to him why you would not. 

"C-coming!" you called. 

_Bang! Bang! Bang!_

"If you're not out in ten seconds, I'm breaking in!" 

"I said I'm coming!" 

A flash of color as you passed the mirror was all you saw of your reflection. Seeing anything in greater detail was out of the question now. There was no use crying over spilled milk, after all, and if you stopped, Zoro would certainly coming crashing in at the worst possible moment. You put on a burst of speed as he began to count down. Hopefully if you stumbled in your rush to greet him, you would not also rip a portion of your furisode. That really _would_ be something to cry over. All the money you'd spent on it would have been put to better use paying Nami back for her destroyed makeup. 

"Four...three...two...!" 

With a squeal, you launched yourself up the short set of stairs leading to the exit. Your sandal caught the top step. Somehow you still managed to get your hands on the surface of the door so that you could shove it open. A triumphant cry _tried_ to leave your mouth as you tumbled onto the sunny deck—but the poor cry got rudely cut off when your haphazard momentum sent you face-first into something _very_ hard that stood directly in your path. 

"What are you doing?" Zoro asked. 

Stars spun around your head. Through them you could see a portion of cloudless blue sky. Nothing more. That was odd. When had you got on your back? Last thing you remembered, you'd been trying to get outside before he could come retrieve you. 

If Zoro did not _sound_ thrilled by whatever was going on, he looked even less so. His head suddenly popped into view. He wore his usual frown. Actually, he wore his usual everything. As you struggled to sit up, you saw that he had done absolutely nothing during all that time you'd been trapped in the bathroom praying Robin would not offer to do your hair for you again. For heaven's sake, he was even wearing the same plain white shirt as he always did, too! Life just wasn't fair. 

Zoro seemed to misinterpret the unblinking stare you set upon the shape of his pecs bulging against his shirt fabric. Instead of saying anything about that, he simply stuck one enormous hand out toward you. 

"Here," he said. 

"I'm fine. Thank you," you said stiffly. 

Obviously you were not fine. Your frantic wiggling had not got you back on your feet yet, but Zoro didn't push. He retracted his hand with a careless shrug and a flat, "Suit yourself." 

This left you to spend the next several minutes attempting to balance well enough to stand up. You could feel his sharp gaze upon you every second of the endeavor...or at least you thought did. When you finally achieved your goal, you found him looking out toward the island the _Going Merry_ had docked at, and no sign at all that he'd been watching you. He hadn't been watching anything as far as you could tell. Looking around, you suddenly realized that there was nothing else going on for him to look _at_. 

"Where is everyone?" you asked. 

"Gone." 

"Gone?" 

He did not so much as glance back at you. "Yeah. Gone. They all left. You get that goop in your ears or something?" 

" _When_ did they leave?" 

"I don't know. A while ago. You took too long trying to make yourself prettier. Luffy got bored." 

You hoped Zoro's preoccupation with the ship's immediate surroundings would prevent him from noticing your heart sink. His choice of words had not escaped you: _Tried_ to make yourself look prettier. Meaning you had failed to do so. Meaning all your effort had been wasted. Meaning you _weren't_ pretty. 

Unfortunately, while you were busy with these thoughts, Zoro finally swiveled his head in your direction. "What are you making that face for?" 

"I'm not making any face!" you snapped. 

"Yes, you are." 

"Okay! I'm _sorry_ I spent so much time in the bathroom!" Zoro's apathy rarely failed to rile you right up on the occasions he chose to pick at you instead of Sanji. This time was no different. "It's not every day Luffy can convince Nami to let us take a detour for something _fun_. Do you know I haven't seen a single cherry blossom since we left my home? Pardon me for wanting to look the part!" 

If his slightly pursed lips were any indication, Zoro found your tirade more confusing than alarming. "Why is there a specific way you need to do your makeup to look at flowers?" 

"That's not the point. It's—what do you care anyway? Nami and Robin got all dressed up, too!" 

"The difference is they didn't take forever and day to _get_ dressed up." 

"Oh, and I suppose what _you've_ done is better?" 

"What, nothing?" 

"Exactly!" 

"I'd say that's a lot better, actually." 

He didn't even have to think about it, that was how quickly he answered. What was worse was that he was _right_. If only _you_ could look baseline _pretty_ in nothing but your day-to-day wear. Not even putting on a furisode and one eye's worth of mascara could help someone like you, but on Zoro... 

Luckily you lurched out of your daydreaming more quickly than you typically did. This man didn't _deserve_ your daydreams. As rude as he was to you on a regular basis, he hardly deserved your time of day. Why waste your energy on him now? You forced yourself to exhale slowly until you thought you could speak calmly again. 

"I'm not going to have this argument with someone who thinks I'm ugly," you said. 

"What are you—" 

"Just tell me which way everybody went. Maybe I can catch up with them if I hurry." 

Zoro snorted. "Good luck with that. If I were you, I'd just give it up as a bad job now. Maybe you can see some cherry blossoms next year, once you've learned to get ready a little faster." 

"That's the pot called the kettle black," you muttered, before lifting your voice to say, "The festival wasn't supposed to start for another few _hours_. I _know_ I was not in the bathroom that long." 

"You sure about that?" he asked, raising one thin brow. 

"Just because I can't walk a straight line on a moving ship does not mean I am incapable of sensing the passage of time. Now, would you pretty please quit being a marimo head and point me in the right direction?" 

Now it was his turn to stare at you. You had no idea why. It wasn't like you were the first one to call him a marimo head; Sanji called him that almost exclusively. Was it really even an insult? Maybe Zoro had been offended by your condescending tone instead. Well, if that was the case, you weren't about to apologize. He didn't have to help you. Nothing could stop you from simply marching onto dry land all by yourself and— 

Without a word, he turned on the spot and headed for the nearby plank. 

"Where are you going?" you asked. 

Your question didn't break his stride for a moment. Off Zoro continued to tramp off on his long legs. Soon he would vanish entirely under the vivid boughs of the trees beyond. Panicked, you wobbled as fast as you could to the _Merry's_ railing. 

"W-wait!" you shouted. "Where are you—" 

He cut you off with a glance over his shoulder. "Are you coming or not?" 

"Coming? Coming _where_?" 

"It would be easier if I just took you to them." 

Oh. Oh _no_. You did not like the implication of Zoro's words at all. Surely he couldn't mean what you thought he meant. But what else _could_ he mean? 

"Easier than what?" you asked suspiciously. 

"Than giving you directions." 

That was exactly what you'd been afraid of. If your choices came down to following Zoro into the woods or missing the cherry blossom festival entirely, missing the festival was absolutely the wisest move of the two. No plan could be worse than letting this man lead you anywhere—but the way he kept standing expectantly at the end of the plank led you to believe this had not occurred to him. 

"A-Are you sure?" you asked weakly. "There's really no need for you to bother yourself. I know you aren't that interested in this whole thing." 

"Sure, but _you_ are." 

"And I'll find my own way there! Really, Zoro, why don't you just stay here? That way you can take a nap while the ship is quiet, or whatever it is you get up to when we're all away having fun without you." 

Something in his sharp eyes hardened a little. He considered you like that just a bit longer, then he crossed his log-like arms across his chest and shook his head. "No way. Someone like you would only get lost." 

How could _anyone_ have things as backwards this man did? Following him was _asking_ to be lost. You would have much better luck striking out on your own. Sure, you didn't have any idea what the island looked like and the one crew member you could _always_ rely on to get you where you needed to go had undoubtedly taken the only map...but you liked your chances of finding your friends by wandering aimlessly around a lot better than you did you did your chances if you accompanied Zoro _anywhere_. 

"You can sit there and dawdle all you want," his voice broke into your thoughts. "The longer you wait, the more likely it is that they're going to do everything without you." 

"Yes, but—" 

Again he interrupted you without having to say anything. One eyebrow shot up toward his short green hair. You swallowed your complaint with a sigh before you gingerly made your way step by tiny step down the plank. An enormous exhale followed your putting your feet on dry land. How you had missed it! Nothing felt as good as knowing you could dance, jump, or simply walk a straight line without having to fear tripping over your own two feet. Perhaps you might have done any number of those things, had Zoro not greeted you by crouching right in front of you. 

"Huh?" you said intelligently. 

"Hop on," he said. 

"Hop on _what_?" 

"My back. What else?" 

While the broad expanse of Zoro's back was certainly more inviting than you'd want to admit, you immediately moved away from him. "You're kidding, right?" 

"Why would I kid? It'll be easier to keep track of you that way, right?" 

"And a fall from that height would kill me." Or ruin your furisode at the very least. Since you'd probably have to trade it to Nami to just _begin_ repaying her for her makeup, you weren't all that eager to ruin your only bargaining chip in exchange for the momentary soothing of your libido. "I'm not Chopper, Zoro. I'm not going to suddenly vanish on you." 

"You really think you can keep up with me?" 

"Yes," you lied. "I do." 

Rather than call you out on this blatant untruth, Zoro stood up without further argument. You held your breath. Exactly why, you didn't know. There was no immediate emergency that might otherwise have convinced him to physically throw you on his back without your consent. Then he squared his shoulders and headed for the tree line, causing you to realize _exactly_ why you were so nervous. 

"At least I know Luffy will refuse to leave without _you_ ," you said as you hurried to catch up with him. 

"Huh?" Zoro asked. 

"Never mind. You sure you know where they were going?" 

"I have eyes, so yes. I'm sure." 

There wasn't much you could say to contradict that Zoro _did_ have working eyes. On the other hand, _everyone_ in the crew knew he couldn't find his way off the ship without help...Well, everyone except Zoro. Unless you wanted to spend the rest of the afternoon moping alone on deck, though, following him through the low-hanging branches of heavy pink flowers was your only option. 

How big could the island be anyway? You doubted any of you would be there unless Luffy had latched onto your stories about the cherry blossom festivals of your youth, after which he'd proclaimed that the crew would certainly be attending the very next one you came across. Nami had found the place, of course. She hadn't mentioned there being anything else worthwhile here. In fact, there wasn't really anything or anyone of note outside the trees and the people that took care of them. That was probably the reason she'd okayed the stop: No one, not even Luffy, was likely to get in any trouble on a one-day stop like this one. 

After trailing after Zoro like a lost puppy for ages, you realized you'd managed to do the impossible. _You_ had gotten into an absolute heap of trouble. The sun above the tree tops was starting to dip low enough to turn the sky red. All of that walking—perhaps hours of it!—had got you nowhere. Not one sign that your friends had passed through this area appeared. Heck, you hadn't seen a single hint of there being human civilization anywhere nearby! Worse still, your companion showed no signs of stopping anytime soon. 

"Zoro," you said breathlessly, trying and failing to match his enormous steps. 

Evidently, he didn't hear you, because he just kept on marching. 

You tried again, a little louder, "Zoro, I don't think we're going the right way." 

"Why would you say that?" 

"Because—" 

A sudden sharp pain in your side cut you off. You could go no further. Before you could fall flat on your face on land for once, you came to a stop. Zoro didn't notice. Even your great gasps for breath didn't distract him. He was almost out of sight before you mustered up enough oxygen to shout: 

"Because there's no one else _here_!" 

This effort did little to aid your attempts to regain your strength. So exhausted were you by the forced march that the pink forest spun around your head. Once Zoro vanished, there would be no catching up to him. 

Thankfully your cry seemed to alert _him_ to the situation as well. He froze. The back of his head tilted upward. Surely he noticed the same thing that you did: The island around you rang with nothing but silence. 

"If they were anywhere around here, we'd be able to hear them. At least we'd be able to hear Usopp and Luffy and Chopper," you said hoarsely. "Face it, Zoro. We're lost." 

"I can't believe those guys went and got themselves lost," Zoro said, more to himself than to you. 

"Fine. Whatever. We're lost. They're lost. Does it matter who's lost? The point is, we can't find our friends. We probably can't even find the ship." 

"I told them not to wander off like th—What do you think you're doing?" 

Trust him to turn back to you the moment you collapsed in a heap. You simply had no energy left. Certainly you had no energy left to argue with him. Still wheezing, you crawled across the soft grass until you reached a sturdy tree trunk. The force with which you threw your back against it sent a cascade of petals across your vision, which unfortunately obscured Zoro's approach until he stood right above you. 

"Come on," he said. "We won't find them by sitting on our asses." 

"What's the _point_? It's getting dark. The festival probably finished ages ago. And I'm _tired_." 

"You wouldn't _be_ so tired if you'd just let me carry you as planned. Here, just get on—" 

You let out a wild laugh. "Oh, no. No way. I am not going anywhere else with you today. If I did, we'd probably wind up on an entirely different _island_. No, thank you. I'm staying here." 

"Why are you being such a big baby about this? _You're_ the one that insisted on coming out here just to stare at a bunch of stupid _trees_." 

"And _you're_ the one that insisted on _taking_ me to see the stupid trees. I _wanted_ to find them on my own. _You_ didn't have to come along." 

"I came along because I felt sorry for you. Don't worry, I can promise you that won't ever happen again." 

"Good! Because I don't need you to pity me for being ugly as sin!" 

It wasn't very often that you and Zoro came to loggerheads like this. He wasn't easily ruffled, and he was surrounded by much easier targets than a girl that had to fight to stay upright more often than not. You didn't enjoy catching his attention, not when you realized how stupid you looked. Getting his attention by making him angry wasn't ideal either...but as he looked at you then, the anger faded from his face, and you realized that his new expression was much, _much_ worse. 

"What are you talking about, ugly as sin?" he demanded, crossing his gigantic arms over his chest. 

Too late, you realized you'd given too much away. "Nothing. Forget it." 

"No. You said something about that before, on the _Merry_. Spit it out." 

"I didn't say anything." 

"Quit being an idiot." 

"Oh, so now I'm ugly _and_ stupid, is that it?" you spat. 

His eyes narrowed. You scowled right back. After about half a second, you gave up. If you insisted on snapping at him about your appearance, even someone as oblivious as _Zoro_ was bound to notice you kept bringing up the subject. 

"Fine." Sighing, you a ran a hand through your ruined hair—not that it had been in any right state to begin with. "Earlier you told me I can't even make myself pretty when I _try_. I know you don't think much of me, but I guess...I guess I didn't realize I was so hideous even _you_ could see that." 

Such a confession got no reaction from the man standing in front of you. He didn't even bother opening his eyes wider. Instead he continued to glare at you for what felt like an eternity. Then he snorted, unwound his arms, and plunked himself down on the ground right next to you. 

"You _are_ an idiot," he announced as he closed his eyes. After that, he went quiet. 

Your mouth fell open. It was one thing for Zoro to think you were unattractive. That was something you could live with, especially since Sanji would willingly tell you otherwise if you ever asked. Zoro thinking you were _stupid_ was another. 

Perhaps your gaping went on for too long, because a little while later he slid open one eye in your direction. "What I _said_ was that you took too long trying to get prettier. Now, am I crazy, or does that not have the word 'ugly' anywhere in it?" 

"You didn't have to come right out and say it. Saying that I _tried_ to get pretty makes it obvious that you think I failed." 

"Of course you failed. You're already pretty. There's no _point_ in you trying to make yourself pretti _er_. What," he added, twisting his body a little toward you. "Why are you making that face again?" 

"I-I'm not making any face!" you said as you hastily tried to hide your shock and pleasure with one of your sleeves. 

Zoro looked very much like he wanted to argue, but then he seemed to think better of it and laid back down. "Yeah. You said that before, too." 

"I'm sorry. You just caught me off guard, is all. You really think I'm pretty?" 

Your cheeks burned immediately after asking this question. How pathetic could you _be_? There was using one's looks to get what one wanted like Nami did, and then there was fishing for compliments like you were doing now. If the rest of your behavior that day hadn't driven Zoro to ditch you in the middle of some unfamiliar woods, this absolutely would. To your surprise, however, he answered seriously: 

"I don't _think_ you're pretty. I _know_ you're pretty. Then you go and do bizarre things like only put makeup on half your face. Why are women so _weird_ about their appearances?" 

"But—but you seemed so upset that I was in there for so long and I didn't look any better," you pointed out. 

"No, I was upset because you were so worried about making sure you looked like Nami that you were going to miss the one thing you'd been yammering on about for weeks. I didn't want you to miss it after I had to hear about it so damn much." 

"Yeah," you sighed, tilting your head upward to watch one flower-laden branch swing up and down in the cooling breeze. "Guess that didn't work out. I wish they hadn't all left without me." 

"If it's any consolation, I did try to get Luffy to calm down and stick around a little longer," Zoro said quietly. 

"You did?" 

"Mm." 

You shot him a smile that he couldn't see with his eyes shut. "Thank you. Thank you for trying to get me there in time, too. Even if we didn't make it." 

"Talk about a waste of time. You were right. I should have stayed on the ship and taken a nap." 

"Well, I wouldn't say it was a _complete_ waste of time. Maybe I didn't get to attend a festival with my friends like I wanted, but I still got to see the blossoms with you. That means something where I come from, you know?" 

Zoro made no reply. You held your breath, waiting for him to tell you off for being so sappy, or to remind you that him knowing you were pretty wasn't anything more than a statement of fact. He remained silent. Frowning, you leaned toward him... 

...only for him to let out a tremendous snore that made you leap back against your tree trunk. 

"Zoro? Are you taking a nap right now?" you asked. 

The continued snores indicated that he really was. You scrambled to your feet, grabbed one of his arms, and started heaving. 

"Zoro? Zoro! You can't sleep right now. It's getting dark! We have to get back to the ship!" 

But your cries of desperation were to no avail. No matter how you pushed, pulled, or shoved his massive body, he was well and truly out. The darkness settled in overhead as you gave up trying to rouse him. With as bad as your day had turned out to be, it was no surprise that you were stuck essentially alone outside in a strange place. 

Today hadn't been all bad, though, had it? You had learned that Zoro—as attractive and as gruff as he might have been—thought you were pretty even _without_ your sea legs. Now you just had to hope that Nami would choose to stage a search and rescue _before_ she discovered just what you'd done to her makeup before Zoro made his big reveal.


End file.
